Tuesday, November 29, 2011
@ 11:43 PM
Ahahaha i've completed my photoshop project today :D Here it is!
ahahaahah and i finished watching MAMA 2011 :o lol cos everyone seems to be talking about it.
and i didn't regret watching :D the performances were really very entertaining.... AWESOME..
ahahah never really liked korean male groups/artists in the past so never really took notice of them.... but I have to admit i'm very impressed by suju's and beast's performances :o better than snsd's in fact.... even though i like snsd, "the boys" song is seriously not very naise :(
Hyuna was ssssexayyy! but she didnt sing... lol... only danced... but still :o hahahaha i always thought she v slutty... but why she looks so innocent when she speaks normally :o
Koda Kumi lol. At the red carpet i think she stun tio when the hosts spoke to her in korean ahhahaha. and her performance... hmmm the slow song not v nice i think she didnt kai1 sang3... but the dance song was not bad la :D but she getting old liao loll.
Fann Wong lmao wts dress as policeman?? *faints* i think singapore celebs really pale in comparison to koreans haiz.
Miss A was good too! liked their kungfu dance performance very much ahahaha :D
2ne1... never really liked them cos of their zhao4 xing2... too extreme for me... but gratz to them for winning so many awards lols
Black eyed peas was damn funny!! paste iPad on face HAHAHA damn creative idea lmfao.
SNSD!!! ahhhhhhhhhh <3 SNSD... doesnt matter if the performance is abit disappointing... they all look nice and pretty in white :D and Yuri's voice was soooo nice when she speaks :D
Beast... Fiction hahahah... ok thats the only song i know =\ the yoseob or whoever... the camera kept filming him lols... =\ no comments though cos no eye candy for me
Super Junior's performances were pretty good i must say. seemed like they put in alot of effort :o they really shine on the stage hahaz.. pretty good dancing
Yeaah! overall i enjoyed watching!! :D this is like one of the few times i actually watched TELEVISION instead of computer this year lol.
Monday, November 28, 2011
@ 2:47 PM
AHAHA! EXAMS OVER!!!! :D :D :D YAY!!!!!
ok i think i reeeeeally did v badly this semester... cos of everything that happened... then very distracted hahahaz.. looks like luck is really not on my side this rabbit year! but nvm! :) this year is gonna end soon next year will be dragon year and my luck will be better according to this zodiac master i was watching on youtube... not the best! but at least better :) am looking forward to it!!
ahhaha... now that exams over suddenly dont feel like doing anything liao.. as usual... during exam time i could think of so many things to do after exams... now im feeling LAZY again lol. ok but i should really get out my tablet and practice draw.... bought a few years back for close to 300 bucks wor :( if nv use very wasted hahaz..
wheeee!!! am going to start planning my masterpiece :)
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
@ 5:24 PM
:) I'm keeping up with my blogging! yay hahaha.
I need to find a hobby!!! like a proper sustainable hobby.
So emozzz.... haha i was mugging my stats halfway T.T turned around and saw the rabbit soft toy that she gave me and i felt depressed again :( then can't study anymore.... ahhhh... what happened to the super focused never-distracted me in the past!!! ahhhh!!!
My thoughts will start to wander to emo things whenever im feeling sianzz.... so need to find something to occupy myself until i totally forget the emo stuff! :D like drawing or singing hahaz. i like both! omg im so artistic~~ the partner i spoke to that day was right.... accountants are all too boring and serious xD i should spice up my life! and carry on learning french too :D ahahahaha later end up become like rachel learning thai liddat "chan chi rachel khaaa~~ xoxo" loL
ahahah. so random :D
bloggie bloggie u've been so guai... im so going to redress u with a brand new custom-made template after my exams :) probably a T-ara + Orange Caramel + SNSD theme LOL. Maybe i'll sandwich myself in the center of all of my favourite members heee. Pretty confident i haven't lost my photoshopping skills. Time to enjoy my old hobbies again!! :) Can't wait to draw on my dear old wacom tablet again <3
Yoona Yuri Taeyeon Jiyeon Eunjung Soyeon Lizzy cyaall on my blog soon!! Muackks~~
on a side note.. shitt... my writing sounds like a primary school kid when i'm not using all the accounting/finance technical jargon T.T
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
@ 9:52 PM
Hello! i'm back again my bloggie :) Haha see i'm making an effort to blog!! :)
Feeling much better after 1 week :) in fact, i think i'm feeling totally fine, apart from feeling a wee bit lonely sometimes. but its normal i guess :)
Hahahaz i've sung 3 songs in the past week! :o
Lol i can't believe this xD i have so much to study but yet im doing such wuliao things lol.
Went for the nus accounting board meeting lunch yesterday... Like only 5 students or so went loL. The rest are all the profs and the big shot board members :o hahahaha but it actually turned out to be pretty interesting :) talked to prof miaobin he said he'll be teaching accounting theory next sem :o hahaha will he be giving files again? loL i still have 3 clear folders from him from the mgt accounting module xD The food was quite good. If anyone gets an invitation, highly recommend to go lol.
Anw... I've been doing some serious thinking about what i really want... lol... end up my conclusion is still the same as years ago... i just want to be happy xD don't need to be very rich... just earn enough money to live comfortably... not stressing myself over study and work... hopefully can spend more time with my loved ones and good friends... find the love of my life, get married, have children and enjoy life with my family happily ever after xD very simple... haha but i havent achieved any single part of it yet... lols...
1) Study: Ha. I'm v proud of myself to have decided on my study priority liao. I'm just going to do my best to maintain a 2nd upper honours. Forget about first class ba. Let the elite pple go compete amongst themselves.
2) Work and Money: if i'm going to start out in some audit firm or bank, i'll probably have no life :( will be stressed everyday lols. Can I tahan thru the few years? or do i want to do it?? argh... hard to say... I think it really depends on the environment... I imagine that i can fit better in an audit firm even though work is boring but at least i guess got more time to chitchat with colleagues and stuff hahaz... People who want to work in banks seem v competitive... don't think i can get along v well with them... :( haiz... oh well worry about that later lol. If only I can be some sort of professional institutional trader =\ i think that'll be great :) and sounds like something i'll enjoy too lol.. Tough roads ahead... Hais, nvm meanwhile let me learn to invest my money first.
3) Love: HAha. where to find love? I may have lost my first love... but 我还是要幸福.... hahaz Hebe's song not bad. Hmm.... this is a tough one as well lol.
I need someone who can feel happy with me and smile/laugh alot... That'll make me happy as well cos i like to entertain :) Haha. someone who doesn't lose temper easily would be good.. cos i have a pretty good temper as well xD Someone I feel comfortable with. Someone who THINKS the same way as me... haha the last criteria is newly added de. Nicole and I... I was happy with her, and I was comfortable with her... but our thinkings were too different... prob because of the family culture's influence ba.. Never really felt v comfortable around her parents. hmm.. oh i forgot the most impt criteria: NO SMOKING/DRUGS. haha i sound like a girl dreaming of the perfect guy -.-! bah... at most i just love IU and Orange Caramel ba :)
sians. i don't feel like doing revision =\ so distracted.
Friday, November 11, 2011
@ 4:21 PM
Hello my dear bloggie... sorry for neglecting you for the past..... 2 years... alot has happened... i have had so many commitments that i've totally neglected you... i'm so sorry... but now i'm back because i need you.. a place.. for me to release my emotions..
Many people know me as an optimistic person, a very happy person, a 开心果... and to be honest, that's what i aspire to be as well. My motto in life has always been 开心就好! And all has gone well for the past 2 years... and maybe that's why I felt there was no need to come here to pen down my thoughts... my emotions... and even to keep a record of my activities..
But now im back to u bloggie. Sorry if i treat u so badly... I really need a place to release my emotions... you are the best k. only u stay faithfully by my side, waiting for me in silence for so many years...
Ever since I got together with nicole, i've been a really happy person. That's not saying there weren't any sad moments between us... but most of the time, i was really happy... its my first relationship and i felt what its like to love someone... and what its like to have someone loving me for the first time... other than my parents..
Well, I have to thank yifan... he was the one who introduced me to her. Afterwhich, we eventually felt that we clicked really well and so we got together. Unlike in ah niu's song, for me, 我很丑, 也不温柔... Apart from having a good heart, and being relatively optimistic. and an okay brain, I don't really have any qualities that will attract girls... I'm also stubborn, and don't know how to please girls. zzz.
And this caused me to lose the relationship. I have been too stubborn. I thought we were doing okay... we were practically glued to each other... travelling Malaysia, Taiwan, China, and spending 6 months in Europe together... its almost like 同居... I felt like I could be myself with her.. truly myself when I'm with BB.. and I really loved that feeling. And although sometimes she would complain I wasn't loving enough... I thought everything was alright... because I know deep down I loved her... and she loved me. As long as that remains, we can be together forever.
Right now... all i could think of are the sweet moments.... the little things that we did together.... shopping in the night markets in taiwan wearing colourful raincoats... hahaz it was so funny. the magical moments when i kissed bb... when she just lay in my arms and we would hug each other... sharing a single giant cup bubble tea... the time when she lost her winter gloves she lost her temper as well and we went all over the place looking for the same pair... in China doing a cip project together when most team members didn't like her (partly cos of me as well), but we stayed strong together... I still remember she fell sick... her eyes had some sort of infection... I was really worried...
And then in Europe... this was the most memorable part of our relationship... we managed to go for the same exchange programme at the same university Universite Catholique de Louvain despite me being from NUS and her being from SMU... 6 months of living together... that was when we realised there were some differences... I was a messy, lazy, passive person... she is a neat, organised, wants to do everything very early type of person. So we ended up arguing quite alot. But we practically only had each other to rely on... so despite everything... I felt our relationship strengthened... Yea... we travelled almost the whole of Europe and UK. I don't think I'll have such a chance ever.. ever again. Belgium, Netherlands... swiss alps, lakes, paris eiffel tower, germany italy spain austria hungary czech sweden iceland norway finland and england wales scotland.... lol omg. Now that I think about it, I don't think there are many couples who have travelled to so many places in their lifetime.. It was a backpacking budget trip yea... and BB was always complaining about walking too much or bag too heavy... but she stuck to me.. and once again, I felt we could be together forever. FOREVER.
But after returning to Singapore, everything changed. She went back to her school life, I went back to mine. She met an NTU exchange student in SMU... who tried to hit on her and treats her like a Queen. Listens to everything she says.. Pampers her.... Something which I totally sucked at. + he had better looks i guess. All these factors slowly accumulated and in the end, maybe she felt she deserved better... She does deserve better ba... I'm really bad at expressing my love, and i stubbornly feel that such pampering, such treatiing like a queen, CAN NEVER LAST. Eventually one party will get sick of it. At least, that's what i think. which is why i never did that.... BUT, she needs someone who can do that.
Yepp... so now i've lost her. i don't know what i'm feeling. I really really loved her and really thought we could be together forever... but now, I'm also disappointed. Extremely. All our time together meant nothing. The fact that we could be so comfortable with each other means nothing when someone treats her well. I don't know the actual facts, so maybe i'm abit harsh. I'm comparing this to something like a kid who will just follow a stranger who gives him sweets. She says I don't love her, but I do. I truly do.
Or rather, I truly DID. Because now she has shattered my heart. into un-mendable pieces. i don't hate her. She has her reasons and i understand, and also because i am stubborn on my side and obviously make no effort to treat her like the guy who wants to woo her. no matter what, now that she has left me, I dont think i can love her the same as I've done for the past 1039 days. Its really over this time i think. I'm feel sad just thinking about it. It was such a wonderful relationship while it lasted..
now when i try to look back... i realised... i indeed suck. I regret that almost 3 years of being together, and i've never keep track of all that we did, never really taken many pictures like couples do, that now when i think about our relationship... almost everything is just in my memory... Eventually when i grow old... I will forget about such a wonderful 1039 days I've had... and it will be lost. forever... It is such a sad thing.